Ha ha, know I haven't posted in forever, sorry.

Anyway, working as a day camp counselor this summer.  The pay totally sux, but it isn't hard.  I get along with little kids.  I have nine year olds. 

Parents are still arguing over the fucking divorce.  Every time they mention custody I tell them I'm 16, I'll sleep where I want, I want to be with both of them and I don't want them fighting over me.  They seem to want to fight about everything.  I won't carry messages, either.  They have each others cell phone number.

They cut out the drug testing on me a while back.  They only did it maybe four or five times.  Once I did test positive for THC, I told them I was at a party with lots of smoking going on and I must have inhaled it.  They sent in the sample to the lab and it showed up with a very low reading and they called my pediatrician he said it isnt the first thing he'd think of, but it can happens.  So I got a lecture to exercise better judgment about where I am and who I'm with.  It was a lie of course, but I don't like the effect weed has on me so I don't do it.    Besides, good grades are my tickets out of this place.  It's like Hiroshima after the bomb dropped, or so it feels.  The camp can drug test you because you work for them, but I don't think they do it unless you show up stoned.  Besides, I haven't touched any since April.

Not much going on right now.  Wish there was another show to go to, that Silverstein show was totally sick.  But no one I really want to see.

Always drama with my parents.  We got together and they tried sitting me down for a talk, said they wanted a judge to decide who should have custody of me.  I said I wasn't interested, they could do whatever they wanted to, but I was just going to keep alternating weeks at their houses, and I wasn't going to talk to lawyers or judges or anything.  That got them to agree I was "defiant", ha ha.  But anyway, they said they weren't making any hasty decisions, that we would keep things the way they were for right now and try joint custody LIKE THEY AGREED BEFORE.  God, I am so not interested in all this bs.

Well, February break.  We're off for a whole week!  Yes!

I'm supposed to fucking act like a ping pong ball cauz of the custody agreement they made during this vacation.  So I told them (we meet once a week to discuss "family issues") that no I wasn't doing that I"d be willing to move from my mom to my Dad midweek but I wasn't moving twice I needed a break from things.  From what I am hearing at school, they can't stop you if you insist and they seem to be right they gave in. 

I'll probably sleep over a lot of nights at Josh's anyway.  I can't stand either of my parents right now.  You know my dad is already dating?  And he isn't going to be divorced for MONTHS.  Disgusting.

Report card was good, my usual performance, thank you (bows).  At least when I'm studying, I don't have to think about my crazy home arrangements.  I can't ever go back to my old high school, by the way, we no longer live in the district. 

Anyway, Friday Josh and me are going into NYC to see Silverstein.  I had Josh's parents buy the tickets gave them money for my ticket.  Then I hit my dad with it right after report card came in.  He freaked out a bit but I told him I was going anyway and the only question was whether he would say yes or would I sneak out.  He was all, "Chip, why do you have to be so manipulative?" uh survival?  Anyway, it is just me and Josh no gfs so we can get into the pit and not have to worry it should be way cool.  Oh, and to parents:  It is only five blocks from the bus terminal, thank you for the map (five blocks!) I know what times the buses go, etc etc etc. 

Well, we sold our house.  I am not exactly happy.  We have to move sometime around my birthday.  The rents asked me who I wanted to celebrate my birthday with.  I said both of them together.  That was a mistake, they gave me another long talk about how most relationships come to an end sooner or later.  I said if they stayed together this long, they could at least wait until I was 18.  It took 20 minutes for them to say no, that isn't happening.

It is weird.  They seem just to have lost interest in the whole parenting thing.  Neither one is telling me to do stuff.  I feel sort of like I don't know what to do if they are not telling me, ha ha, weird.

And I know my dad helps to remarry and have more kids, because my mom was lucky to have one.  But what sucks about that is what's the matter, aren't I good enough for him?  Not a wonderful feeling. 

Um, yeah, sorry I haven't been on in forever, but I just haven't felt like it.  My parents separated a month ago yesterday.  And what totally blows my mind is that I really don't understand why they separated.  They always seemed to me to be getting along, they didn't fight or anything.  I mean they sat and talked to me for two hours that day and they really didn't tell me anything.  It is totally confusing.  Me and my mom are still living here but we are selling the house and moving to a smaller one.  I have to live with them alternate weeks  My friend Josh says that I should insist on living at one place or the other and if i did everyone would have to agree, but I don't want to piss anyone off.  I just feel like I'm going to wind up spending alternate weeks at two places neither of which is home.  

Busy time.  We're now in the second marking period, which means I start Driver's Ed on Monday!  Yes!  Of course, I can't get my license for, um, um, 16 months.  Oh well.  You gotta start somewhere and you get your learner's permit sooner if you go thru driver's ed.

I got straight A's so my parents are as happy as they ever are.  They went to parent teacher conferences yesterday anyway, they love harrassing my teachers.  They've always done that.  I've had teachers who made it pretty clear without actually saying it that they really hated my parents.  Constantly emailing them.

I told them now that it is clear I have adjusted OK to being back in Catholic school and am getting good grades, they need to follow their promises and let up on me.  I deserve a later curfew, both weeknight and weekend, and this business about being so reluctant to let me go into the city with Josh has GOT to go.  I told them we want to go in one day and Christmas shop one Saturday, and we'll take the express bus in.  My parents said they'd get back to me.  Plus about 88 other things they need to ease off on.

Sigh.  Another week of skool.

Feeling better.  I don't know.  If I go back to public school, it is going to look awfully funny on my college application, one year of public school, then one year of Catholic high, then back to public school.  Plus it means  big fight with my parents who will probably hate me.  Maybe I should tough it out.

Good news.  The football team lost.  That's one in the eyes of the jocks. 

Oh, the rents dropped me an email with a link to the Washington Post saying that a new study finds kids of helicopter parents do better in college.  That's all I fucking need.  Once I go to college, I'm going to fucking ignore them.

Ho hum, time to put on my fucking uniform and get down there for breakfast. 

FIrst marking period is over, by the way.  I've had a bad night and been doing a lot of thinking, and I've decided that after my report card comes back in, I'm going to stand up to my parents and tell them I'm willing to finish the semester here, but i"m going back to public school.  If I can't avoid it, I"ll finish up the school year here.  I know they can punish me and do all sorts of shit, and I"m sorry if I'm disappointing htem.  But I can't take this place any longer.  It is just a horrible place, and what is worse, no one understands that, they all WANT to be here.  Well, I don't, sorry, but that is true.

Don't worry I am not going to do anything stupid like getting kicked out or something.  I'm not out to ruin my life (though my parents will no doubt tell me I am).  I think you have to say on college applications if you've ever been suspended, and being expelled counts as that.

I'm sorry but these have been two horrible months and I just can't take this for three years.

Lots of stuff going on.  One thing I don't care about is that our football team is undefeated and plays another undefeated team Saturday night.  I'm not going.  I really don't give a shit.  I'm forced to go to this school, why should I care about the football team?  But it is not healthy to say that at my school, if you get what I mean.  I don't want to be an outcast.  Plus, I'd get "accidently" knocked down in the hall or something.  Or worse, in the showers after P.E.

Better news is that the rents are taking me and Jane to see Simple Plan in Trenton next month.  It is an all seated show, damn it.  We couldn't get decent tickets on the floor by the time I persuaded them (I wanted just her and me to go, but it would be hard to get home after the show by public transportation, it is like 70 miles and we'd get home at 4 a.m.  You can guess what they thought of that.).  Jane said most of the fans will be girls and she doesn't trust me there on my own.  Lol.   Real excited though.

And I will be the scorekeeper for the JV basketball team.  At least that gets me some athletic involvement to put on my college application, though I will still go out for track in the spring, I"m pretty fast, I might make it.  Rents did their usual overprotective thing when they found out it involved going to road games, they called the coach and asked who will be in charge of me.  The coach said that he will keep me too busy to get into any trouble and besides, he hadn't heard I needed someone to be "in charge"  of me, if they knew any different, they should let him know.  They backed off fast, "Oh no, Chip is a very responsible boy."  Jerks.  Why wasn't I adopted?

Ha ha, I'm not grounded anymore even though I still have demerits to make up.  I told my parents that all the strictness and overprotectiveness was building up inside and I was thinking all the time about how to rebel and one of these days I was totally going to explode and I think it worked because the next morning they said they saw no point in keeping me grounded and they've been backing off and giving me some room for a change.  They also gave me fifty bucks as a reward for the good progress reports so it is all cool.  Especially with the new Simple Plan single coming out in nine days.  By the way, it is not at all cool to like Simple Plan at my school so I don't talk about it.  People say it is a band for girls.